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Redhook Celebrates Dubious Sports

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Back in 1981, when Redhook was born, female mud wrestling was a huge fad across America. As the scene above from the cinematic tour-de-force, Stripes, shows, bars promoted mud wrestling as a way to bring in customers and sell lots of booze. Thankfully, humans have evolved over the past 30 years, right? Barely.

 

Now we have pudding wrestling. Yep, it’s still chicks in bikinis wrestling in slimy stuff in front of drunk people. But, at least we’ve learned pudding is less repulsive to get in your mouth than mud. Another upside? Pudding is much easier to wash out of clothes and bodily crevices. At least that’s what Redhook’s been told.

 

Redhook had tons of fun at the Portland Pudding Wrestling Massacre a few weeks back, plying both judges and patrons with tasty Redhook beer. It was a great time and the event got some nice pub. In fact, the Pudding Massacre was such a success, it made Redhook curious about what other sports have untapped beer/spectator potential.

 

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Perhaps you’ve seen video of the Japanese war game/sport Bo-Taoshi. It’s essentially a scene from a post-apocalyptic movie — hordes of people rushing crazily at each other, intent on destruction and mayhem. Now, imagine adding beer to that mix. It could only get better. Redhook’s currently looking into building indoor Bo-Taoshi arenas. To his friends in Japan, Redhook says:  防衛大 棒倒し 準決勝!

 

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Then there’s fistball. Redhook knows what you’re thinking: this had to have been invented by the Germans. You’re totally right.

Below is a video that covers off some of the major rules for fistball. Oddly, the video overlooks the most important rule: never refer to fistball as “fisting.” That’s something totally different and it’s completely inappropriate for Redhook’s blog. Please don’t say it again.

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Anyway, there’s a reason fistball has not taken the world by storm. It’s super boring. Beer consumption could only improve its entertainment value.

 

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Lastly, Redhook found a video for a “sport” that was invented in 1993 and has deservedly flown under the radar ever since. It’s called Blo-Ball. Blo-Ball is basically ping pong without the paddles and it’s really lame. So lame, they tried to make it cooler by leaving the “w” off “blow.” Didn’t work.

 

Maybe Blo-Ball was so lame, that people quickly recognized beer was the only way to improve it. And perhaps that led to the great sport of beer pong. Or not. Somewhere, some 55-year-old ex-frat guy is shaking his head saying, “No way, dude. I invented beer pong.”

Anyway, whatever sport you like, now that the sun is finally making occasional appearances in the Northwest, get outside and enjoy it.

Cheers.

 

 

  • Guestus

    I can’t finds your Pilsner anywhere in SW Washington anymore!!!!!!

    This is the best pilsner I ever tasted. How do I get more??

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