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Perhaps The Greatest Horrible Movie Ever

Last October, Redhook saw something on IMDB about the Summer 2012 release of The Expendables 2. Immediately, he was overcome with panic.

He hadn’t even seen The Expendables yet. Surely, there would be intricate plot points and character arcs he needed to understand before watching the sequel. Think of watching The Godfather: Part II before seeing The Godfather. It would be exactly like that.

 

Part I, then Part II. Never the other way around. Go ahead and skip Part III.

 

So, later than night, Redhook streamed The Expendables. It was everything he’d hoped for. Camaraderie, betrayal, redemption. Also, car chases, explosions, fist fighting, covert ops, crooked government agents, planes, helicopters, hot chicks and clumsy, catch-phrase infused dialogue.

 

The formerly handsome Mickey Rourke does not return for the sequel.

 

 

All you need to know about The Expendables (1 or 2) in one simple shot.

The Expendables also continued a proud action movie staple: explosions as diversion. Blow something up at one end of the compound, then go achieve your real objective at the other end. It never fails. And SPOILER ALERT it never fails Stallone & Co.

 

Speaking of Mr. Stallone, here he is eloquently introducing the trailer to The Expendables 2:

YouTube Preview Image

 

Lastly, if an annoying coworker scoffs and asks you, “Why would you pay good money to see that movie?” simply shake your head. Then, in a clear, hushed, reverent tone say, “Stallone, Statham, Schwarzenegger, Willis, Li, Van Damme, Lundgren, Norris, Crews, Couture. That’s why.”

After that, you might want to create a diversion so HR doesn’t catch you sneaking away from work to watch the movie.

Enjoy The Expendables 2, the Citizen Kane of explosion movies.

Cheers.

 

 

 

 

  • Joe

    2 thumbs up!!

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