Heads up: this coming Sunday is Mother’s Day. You still have time to buy a card, send flowers, make brunch reservations or, at least, punch a reminder in your phone so you remember to call. If you forget, don’t blame Redhook.

If the neighbor lady looks like she's been marinating in teriyaki sauce, call CPS.

Now, if your mom is a horrible person, like, say, Crazy Tanning Mom. Or the one arrested several weeks back for — try not to puke — having sex with her son. Or any one of a dozen other awful moms we’ll hear about in the news this week, by all means, don’t visit her at the women’s penitentiary. Redhook gives you a pass. But in general, most moms are worth some acknowledgment.

Is your mom as tough as Sarah Connor? Guess we'll have to wait until the evil robots arrive to find out.

Of course, no matter how awesome your mom is, she’s probably not quite as kick ass as Sarah Connor. As the mother of John Connor in the Terminator movie franchise, Sarah is tasked with raising the young man who will eventually lead the human resistance against an army of deadly machines. For her sacrifices and achievements, Redhook thinks she may be the greatest movie mom of all time.

Maybe your mom raised you alone. Maybe she worked two jobs. Maybe she even volunteered at a pet rescue center. But did she have sex with a dude from the future, train with Latin American guerrillas, break out out of a mental ward, bust countless guys in the teeth, teach you all forms of weaponry and destroy killer cyborgs, all in an effort to save the human race from destruction? Probably not.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Still, even though your mom might not be able to do a pull up or build an explosive device, chances are she did the best she could to get you where you are today. Hopefully, that’s a good place.

Whether you have a mom or are a mom, Happy Mother’s Day from Redhook.

Behold: delicious Redhook IPA in a can.

Yup, 77 years after canned beer first went on sale in America, Redhook is introducing its first brew in a can. We just wanted to be sure this whole “can thing” wasn’t a fad. Plus, we wanted to make sure our IPA tasted as perfectly hoppy and delicious in cans as it does on tap and in the bottle. It does.

A few examples of activities that are enhanced by Redhook IPA in cans.

Probably the best thing about cans is that the empties are light and easy to pack out. That makes Redhook IPA in cans perfect for doing anything, anywhere. Although we can’t in good conscience recommend drinking and hunting at the same time. Post-hunting, though? Totally cool.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Another great thing about cans? Their crushability, particularly against one’s head. The great John Belushi taught us this and it’s remained a reliable punchline at parties ever since. If you’d like to know how to crush a can against your head without giving yourself a concussion, click here.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Lastly, people (primarily college students and hillbillies) will ask, “Should I shotgun new Redhook IPA in a can?” No, you should not. For one thing, Redhook frowns upon irresponsible drinking, which shotgunning definitely is. For another, shotgunning tends to waste beer, which we also frown upon. Lastly, shotgunning doesn’t look nearly as cool as you think it does. Check out the old ladies above. An odd combination of cute and sad. Woooooo!

Yes, our new IPA can opens up a world of possibilities, including beer can chicken, beer can mini stoves and a simple way to improve your wi-fi reception. Google it.

Of course, we think the best use of our IPA is to drink it.

Cheers.

Back in 1981, when Redhook was born, female mud wrestling was a huge fad across America. As the scene above from the cinematic tour-de-force, Stripes, shows, bars promoted mud wrestling as a way to bring in customers and sell lots of booze. Thankfully, humans have evolved over the past 30 years, right? Barely.

Now we have pudding wrestling. Yep, it’s still chicks in bikinis wrestling in slimy stuff in front of drunk people. But, at least we’ve learned pudding is less repulsive to get in your mouth than mud. Another upside? Pudding is much easier to wash out of clothes and bodily crevices. At least that’s what Redhook’s been told.

Redhook had tons of fun at the Portland Pudding Wrestling Massacre a few weeks back, plying both judges and patrons with tasty Redhook beer. It was a great time and the event got some nice pub. In fact, the Pudding Massacre was such a success, it made Redhook curious about what other sports have untapped beer/spectator potential.

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Perhaps you’ve seen video of the Japanese war game/sport Bo-Taoshi. It’s essentially a scene from a post-apocalyptic movie — hordes of people rushing crazily at each other, intent on destruction and mayhem. Now, imagine adding beer to that mix. It could only get better. Redhook’s currently looking into building indoor Bo-Taoshi arenas. To his friends in Japan, Redhook says:  防衛大　棒倒し 準決勝!

Click here to view the embedded video.

Then there’s fistball. Redhook knows what you’re thinking: this had to have been invented by the Germans. You’re totally right.

Below is a video that covers off some of the major rules for fistball. Oddly, the video overlooks the most important rule: never refer to fistball as “fisting.” That’s something totally different and it’s completely inappropriate for Redhook’s blog. Please don’t say it again.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Anyway, there’s a reason fistball has not taken the world by storm. It’s super boring. Beer consumption could only improve its entertainment value.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Lastly, Redhook found a video for a “sport” that was invented in 1993 and has deservedly flown under the radar ever since. It’s called Blo-Ball. Blo-Ball is basically ping pong without the paddles and it’s really lame. So lame, they tried to make it cooler by leaving the “w” off “blow.” Didn’t work.

Maybe Blo-Ball was so lame, that people quickly recognized beer was the only way to improve it. And perhaps that led to the great sport of beer pong. Or not. Somewhere, some 55-year-old ex-frat guy is shaking his head saying, “No way, dude. I invented beer pong.”

Anyway, whatever sport you like, now that the sun is finally making occasional appearances in the Northwest, get outside and enjoy it.

Cheers.

Dudes love grappling hooks. And it’s pretty much all due to Batman.

Redhook still remembers the first time he saw Batman plummeting off a building to certain doom. Rather than splatting on the sidewalk below, Batman fired his grappling hook gun at a gargoyle and swung to safety. Redhook stared at the TV in awe and said, “I need one of those.”

Click here to view the embedded video.

With a grappling hook at the ready, you’re never in danger of falling off building ledges. You never need stairs to access upper floors of buildings. And, like the dudes above, you can board ships, even if you’re not invited.

Then again, you can always simply mount your grappling hook on the fireplace. This is a subtle cue that tells visitors, “I am exciting because I do things that occasionally require me to use my grappling hook.”

Archer, Jay and Silent Bob, geeks and "tactical equipment manufacturers" all dig the grappling hook.

Redhook is far from alone in his love of grappling hooks. A simple Google search reveals millions of links to pocket grappling hooks, guys throwing grappling hooks, dudes building homemade launchers, and quasi-military contractors. Even self-described geeky t-shirt designers dig the grappling hook.

Not all grappling hooks are equal, of course. The basic grappling hook is a fairly simple deal, as the Ninja above will attest. All you need is a large metal barb, a length of rope and something above you to throw at. Well, that and the bodily strength to pull your ass up once your rope gets hooked.

This guy has an awesome 'stache and a shoulder-fired Plumett AL-54.

Sometimes, a guy needs to scale things that are higher than he can throw his grappling hook. For that, there are plenty of launchers to be found. One manufacturer claims it can launch a climbing line 120 vertical feet. Another claims it can throw a line up to 330 feet. Redhook will be looking into both of them.

Now, if you’re looking for a super lightweight, reverse rappel grappling hook combined with a launcher (like you’ve seen Batman use to rocket away from a hail of bullets), you’re out of luck. They don’t really exist. The whole strength-to-weight ratio thing comes into play. This guy explains why here.

That’s not to say there aren’t motorized reverse ascenders. There are, like the one in the video below. But that’s not what this post is about.

Click here to view the embedded video.

If you’re using your grappling hook this weekend, be safe and please don’t drink until you’re on flat ground.

Cheers.

Redhook could totally fix this.

For many dudes, the arrival of Spring brings tons of house projects — some self-directed, some part of the dreaded honey-do list.

The cool thing is, most major projects usually involve power tools. The downside is, power tools maim tens of thousands of people every year. As proof, here’s a random chart Redhook grabbed off the internet:

Fortunately, according to USA Today, “The Consumer Product Safety Commission wants to stop daily table saw amputations.” How thoughtful of them.

Now, while Redhook loves his tools, he has no interest in losing digits. Anyone who has ever used a table saw, mitre saw or chainsaw has either gotten hurt or had a close call that made him say, “Holy crap! I almost lost my _____!”
(fill in appropriate body part)

That’s why Redhook was so stoked to see this video for SawStop the other day. He’d heard about smart blades before, but had never seen one in action. Here, the inventor is so confident in the technology, he puts his own finger against the spinning blade. Arrrgghh! Nope.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Very cool. Redhook has no problem admitting he doesn’t have the huevos to deliberately test the blade like that. And no, you shouldn’t either. We repeat: DO NOT try this and DO NOT send us videos of you trying it.

Alright then. Enjoy Spring and enjoy reclaiming your manhood via power tools. Try to keep your digits intact. And, please, wait until you’re done with the table saw before cracking open a cold one.

Cheers.

In most cases, if Redhook went to a sporting event and sat next to someone who stood, sang, swilled, chanted and danced the ENTIRE FREAKING TIME, he’d be pretty annoyed. Imagine sitting next to the dudes below. Other than major surgery, it’d be the worst three hours of your life.

"YEAHHHHHH!" Um, actually, no.

Then again, soccer’s different than other sports. And the Emerald City Supporters (ECS) are way different than any other sports fans. At more than 3700 members strong, they’re the cornerstone of Seattle Sounders FC’s huge home field advantage.

Rather than engaging in the “You suck, Ref!” negativity of many sports fans, they inspire the Sounders through positivity. And when the ECS incite 39,000 fans at CenturyLink Field to join them in a cheer, it’s pretty cool.

Click here to view the embedded video.

As the official craft beer of Seattle Sounders FC, Redhook’s spent many a match cheering alongside the Emerald City Supporters. And from the moment he first heard the ECS chant “We Came to Drink,” Redhook knew he’d found kindred spirits.

That’s why, in conjunction with the ECS, Redhook has brewed No Equal Amber Lager. Everything from the final recipe to the label design was done in partnership with the ECS to make sure the beer would turn out perfectly for the ECS crew. The result is a flavorful beer that’s drinkable enough to be enjoyed pre-match, during the match and post-match. No Equal Amber Lager is available in 22-ouncers and on tap throughout the PNW.

The Sounders FC kick off their 2012 MLS season this Saturday, St. Patrick’s Day, at CenturyLink Field versus Toronto. To celebrate, the ECS will be hosting a block party at the corner of Occidental Ave. and S. Washington St. The event is 21+, with food, a beer garden, ECS membership and merch tables, and more. The party starts at 1 p.m. and it sounds like the perfect occasion for you to try No Equal Amber Lager while learning the words to “We Came to Drink.” After that, you can debate the merits of the 4-4-2 formation versus the 4-3-3 with your fellow fans. Cheers.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Don’t be this guy on St. Patrick’s Day. Please drink responsibly.

St. Patrick’s Day is just over a week out and, if you’re at all like Redhook, it’s time to get the crew together to watch Leprechaun, unquestionably one of the most horribly awesome movies ever made.

Many cinephiles don’t know there are actually six “films” in the Leprechaun canon. You can even buy the first four in a handy box set for less than $7. Yup, that’s Jennifer Aniston in the first one.

St. Patrick’s Day offers many other fine traditions, of course. Like green beer, parades, and hordes of drunk people cramming into Irish pubs and shouting loudly with fake Irish accents. “Erin go bragh! I mean, heh heh, Erin go bra-less! Woooo!” Notice the dude above sticking out his tongue and flashing gang signs — a classic hot chicks with d-bags maneuver if Redhook’s ever seen one.

St. Patrick’s Day also brings us the St. Patrick’s Day Dash, a roughly 4-mile fun run through the streets of Seattle for all ages and ability levels. This year, the 27th annual Dash is actually on St. Patty’s Day, which should help everyone keep his or her calendar straight. Registration is $35, proceeds benefit the Detlef Schrempf Foundation in support of Northwest children’s charities, and if you’re of legal drinking age, you can refresh yourself with Redhook in the beer garden after the run. Check out all the other details at stpatsdash.com.

Lastly, to make signing up for the race even easier, Redhook’s throwing a registration party at his Forecasters Pub in Woodinville on Saturday, March 10 from noon to 6 p.m. Get more info about the party and the Dash on Redhook’s calendar page.

Hopefully, Redhook will see you in the beer garden after the Dash. And if you go out on St. Patty’s Day, please drink responsibly.

Cheers.

Looking up at Lucas Oil Stadium.

Redhook had an awesome time in Indianapolis last week and wanted to share a few photos with everyone who couldn’t be there. Which is, like, 99.9999% of people on the planet.

Dan mingling with adoring fans.

We spent the week hanging out with The Dan Patrick Show, as they broadcast live from Victory Field, home of the Indianapolis Indians.

A peek inside the Dan Patrick Show studio tells you pretty much all you need to know.

Redhook's never met a dude who doesn't like racing go karts.

We had go karts and, yes, paint was traded. As the brilliant Robert Duvall said in Days of Thunder, “Rubbin’s racin’.”

Redhook strives to inspire America with positive messages.

Andrew “McLovin” Perloff  is one of Dan Patrick’s “Danettes” and, as it happens, Redhook is the official sponsor of McLovin’s weekly Against the Grain segment. Above, you can see him mingling with spectators.

Turns out, people love Redhook Pilsner and free Redhook hats.

No, you didn't have to break your arm to get a free Redhook sticker.

Redhook fully embraced Indianapolis’ two-week open container law in honor of the Super Bowl.

Like a shining beacon of hope, the giant, inflatable ESB bottle welcomed weary, thirsty travelers.

111.3 million people watched the game on TV. Redhook was one of the lucky 68,000 who saw it in person.

Redhook made it through the week and scored some great seats for the game. Here’s to a return trip next year.

Cheers.

And a darkness fell upon the land.

Once again, Redhook and legions of football fans are faced with the utter emptiness that began the very moment the Super Bowl ended.

Two years ago, we had the Winter Olympics to fill this void. Last year, we had worse than nothing — a looming owner lockout that only added to our despair.

This off-season's real life drama offers hope for abandoned football fans.

Fortunately, in a league plagued by sub-par quarterbacking in 2011, there are plenty of compelling storylines to keep everyone’s football jones sated from now through Draft Day, starting with: what the heck will happen with Peyton Manning?

Even the most casual football fan knows the story: Peyton sat out the season with a neck injury. The Colts finished with the worst record in the league, winning the Andrew Luck sweepstakes. Indy owes Peyton, fused neck vertebrae, nerve damage and all, a $28 million bonus if they keep him after March 8. And since there is 0% chance of that happening, Peyton Manning, one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time, will become an unrestricted free agent.

The biggest question is, can he still play? And if that’s in doubt, which team will be willing to roll the dice to pick him up anyway?

Lots of teams are rumored to be looking for a franchise QB.

To that story, add Matt Flynn, RGIII, Tim Tebow’s tenuous hold on his starting job, Kevin Kolb’s quasi-bust in AZ, the fact that Alex Smith continues to have doubters, and the roughly nine NFL teams looking for a QB, and we’re set to have the most interesting off-season in years. It’ll be like a special edition of The Bachelor where rich, old men court virile, young men and millions of middle class men sit at home riveted like 14-year-old girls watching Twilight.

While you ponder the undertones of that, Redhook suggests you have a beer.

Here’s hoping we see Peyton on the field in 2012.

Well, well. We meet again, old friend.

On any normal week, if your boss asked you to hop a plane to Indianapolis to tour your company’s rendering plant, you might say, “Seriously? Can’t you send Jenkins instead?” Of course, you probably wouldn’t complain if El Jefe was sending you during Indy 500 week. And you definitely wouldn’t turn that trip down if, say, Indianapolis happened to be hosting the mother freakin’ Super Bowl. Which it is.

That’s a long way of saying Redhook is headed to Indianapolis with The Dan Patrick Show for the full week of festivities leading up to Super Bowl XLVI. Redhook is looking forward to a seven-day bacchanalia filled with sports, laughter, beer consumption, meat dinners, music and visits to anywhere between two and fifty “gentlemen’s clubs.”

On the off chance you’ll be in Indy during Super Bowl Week, you can join Redhook, Dan and the DIRECTV RV at Victory Field, home of the Indianapolis Indians, where Dan will be broadcasting live every morning. Redhook will be pouring Pilsner and IPA for Dan’s guests and crew. Plus, we’ll be handing out tons of Redhook schwag to all the fans. Should be a great time.

David Tyree's famous helmet catch kept the TD drive alive.

As for the game, it should be a good one. The Giants have already beaten the Pats this season in week 9. And, of course, these same two teams and QBs met up in Super Bowl XLII where the Giants stunned the previously undefeated Pats with a game-winning TD in the final minute. Yes, even though Tom Brady is rich, handsome, has three Super Bowl rings and is married to a supermodel, it seems his life isn’t perfect.

Lastly, if you don’t have Super Bowl tickets yet and you have anywhere between $3,000-$15,000 lying around, you’re in luck.

We’ll talk next week from Indy.