Summer is officially here, which means the inevitable wave of outdoor festivals has begun. From air guitar to poop throwing competitions, there’s a festival out there for whatever floats your boat.
Redhook would like to take a minute to break down some of the events we subject ourselves to every summer:
Music Festivals
These weekend-long festivals are like swinger parties in a way. Both sound like a good idea at first, but in the end everyone is exhausted, suffering from heat-stroke and at least one person’s going to get punched. Not to say the music isn’t worth partaking of at these sweaty sin-fests, but you should know what you’re getting into. And we haven’t even mentioned the CF that comes with parking.
This is 80% of what you actually do at music festivals.
Historic Festivals
We’re talking primarily about those renaissance “faires” where actors hark back to days of yore by dressing in dirty burlap costumes and rolling wheels of cheese. These events are doubly annoying because everyone’s accent is a poor imitation of Kevin Costner’s poor imitation of an English accent. “Good morrow, lads and lasses! Fancy some wild game and a flagon of mead?”
Filthy, mouse-eaten grain sacks were the basis for 90% of people’s clothing during medieval times.
Film Festivals
Film festivals have been spreading across the continent like an STD over the last few decades. Attending the minor ones can be kind of a gamble, though. For every Reservoir Dogs, there’s some film school reject’s take on German expressionism. Fortunately, Seattle has one of the best festivals around. Unfortunately, it’s wrapped for the year.
Four. Hours. Long.
Beer Festivals
Despite the endless bathroom lines, Redhook understands why the combination of beer and questionable carnival food at beer festivals is too alluring for most folk to pass on. He would like to point out that not all festivals are created equal. The Seattle International Beerfest happens to be one of the good ones.
SIB is going down July 1-3 at the Mural Amphitheater at Seattle Center. With great food, live bands, tons of beer and ample (legal) places to pee, it’s an awesome reason to leave your backyard over the long Fourth of July weekend.
Redhook Pilsner will be among the 130 delicious draughts being served, so grab your beer tickets and pay us a visit. Redhook would love to see you there.
