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The Internet Is Littered With Awesomely Horrible Things

Although Redhook peddles alcoholic beverages for a living, we are adamantly against overconsumption.

However, after seeing Shine by the band Final Placement, we may be willing to make an exception. We need something, anything, to help us forget the sheer awfulness of the video and the song.

The first time you experience Shine, you assume Final Placement is messing with you. They can’t be serious, can they? They are. Here’s a nice article about the phenomenon.

You know who’s also serious? Scott Williams. About his love for skating and his love for Nirvana. Unfortunately, he decided to combine the two. It’s an unfortunate mashup, to say the least.

We don’t expect you to watch all of Scott’s skate-tacular, but stick around for the barrel roll at 1:39. It, like Scott “The Bad Boy of Figure Skating” Williams, ROCKS!

There’s no end to the stupidity you can find on the internet. But we’ll wrap things up with another musical exhibition. He Drinks Tequila by Crystal Swing makes a wonderful argument against mixing family bands and songs about hard liquor.

Everything about this video is wrong. Their intro, the song, the MILF behind the keyboard and the ultra-creepy flirtation between the brother and sister.

Their relationship reminds Redhook a little of the Flowers in the Attic books his older sis read when Redhook was a kid. If you don’t recall, in that book series a brother and sister were locked in an attic by their evil grandmother. When they reached that special age of pubescent curiosity, they “” you know what? Never mind. Don’t want to talk about it.

Instead, we’ll raise a glass to warmer, drier, longer days. Cheers.

  • awestbrock

    As if the Shine video/song wasn’t bad enough, why did he have to use that damn checkered guitar strap?

  • Emily Jones

    i love to Figure Skate, and this has been my favorite sport ever since i was a kid.*.`

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