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The Thick Blue Lines

It seems the blue lines painted along the skiing and snowboarding events at the Winter Olympics have thrown a lot of casual viewers. Redhook thinks the issue behind this “confusion” is twofold:

  1. A general lack of common sense in people.
  2. The vast majority of America only watches skiing once every four years.

The thing is, they’ve been using the blue paint in competition for a few years now. And even though the “why” seems rather obvious, here’s a decent explanation from the New York Times. The abridged explanation is that the outer blue lines help define the course. The cross lines help skiers with depth perception, which theoretically keeps them from wiping out.

Anyway, this got Redhook thinking. What if the rest of life came with helpful blue guidelines? What sorts of personal wipeouts could they help one avoid?

Night life. Blue lines at a bar could steer you away from going home at the end of the night with the wrong person. Not that Redhook has ever done this, but he hears that this happens. They could also help your buddies keep an eye on you. “Dude, rein it in. You’re way outside the blue lines right now.”

Work. Blue lines on your office computer monitor could keep you from goofing off on the internet when you’re supposed to be working. By the way, both of the games above are huge time sucks. Do not click on them if you want to be productive.

It’s really too bad the big investment firms weren’t guided by the blue lines when someone thought up the idea of financial derivatives. “Pete, aren’t you a little outside the blue lines with that idea? I mean, that could destroy the world economy.”

Family. The blue lines could remind, say, a traveling businessman that he has a swimsuit model wife and a couple of kids back home, not to mention millions of dollars at stake. So perhaps he shouldn’t be a serial philanderer. This would help said business person from having to make an odd public apology at a later date.

The possibilities where the blue lines could help are endless: job interviews, public speaking engagements, arguments with your significant other, run-ins with the law. We’ll see what we can do to make this happen.

In the meantime, have a Redhook Mudslinger Spring Ale. Come April, it’s done for the year.

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